Monday, March 12, 2012


People don't like that word. It makes them uncomfortable for some reason. I don't know why. I just know it does. This comes from my abject talent at being able to figure out a person's buttons - those things they push to set themselves off into a funk/anger/rage/whatever. It's a survival skill developed from a tortured childhood wherein knowing such information was essential to avoiding catastrophe.

The only thing that seems to bother people more than saying 'vagina' is saying "MY VAGINA". Making it actually personal is just, well, TMI. Perplexed about this phenom, I Googled it. That's what we do these days. It used to be those horrid little books in libraries that listed every article published by every publisher on just about any topic. Now, it's Google. Even an article in Psychology Today takes one whole paragraph and some 100 words before it actually names it and then, the fine physician who wrote it, a woman, calls it "VAJAYJAY". Don't believe me? Google it.

According to this same illustrious source, some vaginas do have teeth. It's happened. It's called a dermoid cyst. Men apparently have a deep primal understanding of this possibility. Still, given there has not been one single documented case of vaginal teeth castration, the fear if utterly absurd.

Be that as it may, it's not as absurd as some other ideas about vaginas. Pervasive cultural beliefs that vaginas are inherently yukamondo are legion. Physicians world wide offer procedures to make them prettier (lay still, Georgia O'Keefe), less smelly (only if you really have something not good going on) and tastes bad (sperm - yummy). Enter the Linger Internal Vaginal Flavoring, or Altoids for your vagina. Sugar pussy! Which can lead to yeast infection galore. Yum.

The web page has a whole guide to the vagina and her accoutrements. It's fairly accurate, but what disturbed me was a 'first impression' poll rating the article that showed that it angered 5% of the men who read it. 11% laughed. Truly, in a statistical fight, women are no better or worse. It was a woman who coined the termed 'vajayjay' and women who repeat it daily. In fact, my African American name is Shanaynay in her honor. C'est la vie.

There will be a V-Day - February 14, 2013. The European Parliament will perform the Vagina Monologues, among other events worldwide to drive end violence against women. has the goods on all that's going.

Most disturbing to me is the plethora of ads for designer vagina surgery. Seriously. Apparently, it is now also necessary that we have perfectly pretty pusses, not just clean, functional ones. No man on earth would have surgery on his penis to make it prettier. Not a chance. Nor have I ever heard of man saying "honey, I don't mean to be one, but little Suzie is kinda of a honker - I just can't stand to look at it." Frankly, most of the men I've discussed this with have voluntarily gone off on great, profound oratories on the various beauties and delights and the plethora of glorious attributes they find wonderful about the whole area, hair included. In all my days, I have never once heard one single complaint, about me or anybody else.


  1. When mine collapses and I find my uterus between my legs, I may have surgery to fix that condition. God knows, I don't want any of MY genitals hanging down between my legs.

  2. Hmmmm. I'll have to ask me partner what he thinks, and consider surgically mutating my body to fit the fashion mores of his mood. Frankly, he's usually so nose and tongue deep, I doubt he can see much of anything. Not really into aesthetics, that one...

  3. He seems to have the appropriate appreciation of the situation, Lotta. Beauty isn't always in the beholder, but at times, the beholder is in the beauty. Good man.