Friday, January 14, 2011

Pot Party

We've got the Tea Party. And the Tea Party Princess (aka Warrior Princess, aka Jesus Bitch aka Sarah Palin). I want to be a princess. So, since the coffee party and the cocktail party have already been taken by other cutesy wannabe poli voices of the future, I'm snagging the Pot Party while it's still available (and if it isn't, then too bad, I'm committed now). Well, actually, Willie Nelson and Mother Jones have advocated for a Pot Party. I'm just answering the call (a little late, a little slow, but hey, dude, it's the Pot Party).

We advocate (phrases like 'stand for' should be avoided as we are usually more likely sitting on the couch) the legalization of marijuana and the adoption of all behaviors relative thereto. This will require members to adopt certain lifestyle choices:

1. Dude. This leads to gender equality. Everybody is called Dude. It's not gender specific anymore either. Girls call other girls Dude now. I learned this hanging out with my nephew and his friends one weekend. His friend's girl friend kept calling me Dude (as in Dude, you're old). I wasn't sure who she talking to at first, but it became blatantly apparent when everybody else left to get beer and I was the only other person there.

2. Sharing. Potheads share. They pass the joint (marijuana cigarette) around so everybody can have some. This is especially important now that Obama has called for civility. Republicans totally bogart (horde, not share) everything. There's less agreement about whether or not Potheads also share potato chips and Peanut M&Ms, but I think they do if you remind them (hey, Dude, don't bogart the food).

3. It's the Economy, Dude. You don't have to call anybody stupid anymore - hence, the civility thing mentioned earlier. With Pot legal, there will be all that tax money coming in to pay for education and health care and new cars for all the official designated drivers. Employment will go way up, just in support industries (taxi cabs, caterers, growers, pickers, health care workers).

4. Less government spending. 858,000 people were arrested for pot in 2009. That's a lot of money we're spending to keep track of all those stoners in prisons and probation. Legalize it and those law enforcement officers can do things like enforce real laws for a change.

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