Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Any other day, I would be sitting here, doing something less productive, less interesting, less fulfilling. Today, however, I wish I could be doing something else. It's only because I can't that I wish to be doing otherwise. Yes, I'm a contrarian. We know from yesterday I'm a hogoholic. Well, I'm also a contrarian. Whatever it is that I am doing, I wish I were doing something else.

For decades, I wished for the time and opportunity to not work a 'real' job and be able to write. Once I'd inadvertently achieved that, I began painting. I rarely write anymore. In fact, I only feel like writing when I have art commissions awaiting completion (a reality that can only be achieved after starting). So, I suddenly am relentlessly eager to express myself in the written word. Contrarian.

I rarely venture out of my mountaintop lakeside world before noon. I have my routine and schedule which includes sleeping late, checking Facebook, drinking lots of coffee and watching the fog roll around on the lake.

You can see the compelling reasons to spend mornings at home. I live in heaven. Still, I walk, I breathe, I laugh and I actually am unhappy from time to time. It's the contrarian.

I have to accept this aspect of myself and keep enough interests going in enough areas so that whenever one dominates, I can procrastinate by enjoying yet another. Of all the problems I could possibly have on this earth, I am so grateful and blessed to have my own silly little ones.

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