I had a fight with a friend on Christmas Eve. It was, for me, pretty much the last straw. I won't say what the fight was about - in truth, it sounds petty, as most fights with friends sound after the fact. In truth, it isn't petty. It's pretty serious. I know she won't be reading this. Even if she had the link and knew I was blogging, she wouldn't look. Besides being entirely computer challenged, she's become entirely self absorbed. She's smart, fun, kind, compassionate. She was there for me many times when I needed her. I've been there for her as well. Only now, she's just not there anymore. Now, she's a drug addict and an alcoholic. There is no there there.
I know my friend is in there somewhere, buried underneath the beer, the wine, the pot, the hydrocodone and oxycontin. Somewhere in there. She might even be listening to me. She might even hear what I say. She might think she's powerless to do anything about it. The monsters may have such a hold on her she can't crawl out. She may not even see the need to do so.
It's not like I haven't tried to tell her. This was not even our first fight. It may not be our last, although I had pretty much steeled myself to that. She's the one who said she was out the door and wouldn't be back. OK, fine, I said. Don't let Karma bite you on the ass on the way out, I yelled. I regretted it immediately. I don't care how angry I am, I really don't wish harm to anyone. Every time I've used that clever little quip, harm has come, albeit pretty much in the form of Karma biting. Then, I always have that little glimmer of "I told you so" sanctimonious glee (no matter how hard I try not to) and then, of course, Karma bites me.
Christmas night my friend was pulled over, arrested, charged. Open container, DUI, possession. Ouch. And yes, a teeny, tiny, little glimmer of glee. I hate it, but there it is. I'm glad. She had a big, fat wake up call that will be a reminder to her every single day for quite a while. She will have to go do DUI school and may actually learn something. Her insurance premiums will sky rocket and she'll be reminded every time she pays that bill. She may lose her license, a serious concern since she needs her car for her work, a daily reminder of what she's up against. She didn't have a wreck. No one was hurt or killed. Maybe, just maybe, I still have a friend.